Flowers from My Beloved

December 31, 2007 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 14 Comments

Flowers from Daniel after I had Eliza

Daniel doesn’t bring me flowers very often and quite frankly, he finds doing those type of romantic gestures kind of hard.

We’ve had discussions about this, you know.

At first I have to say I was disappointed that he wasn’t that kind of man. The kind that is always thinking of ways to knock a woman’s socks off… flowers, vacations, chocolates, sappy cards. I would get frustrated and feel jipped that he didn’t think of these fantastic ways of showing me his love. But then I calmed down after a couple of years and settled into loving who Daniel is. I made a study of my husband and found out the ways he shows his love. And what I found knocked my socks off.

He is smart – I know I can ask him any number of hard questions and he’ll either know the answer or he finds it out. He is devoted to me – he comes home as soon as he can every night. He doesn’t go anywhere else… he just comes home. And he dives right into helping me out. He doesn’t think about how tired he is from work or whether he deserves to have a break, he just makes it all about me. He is openly affectionate – he loves me with his words and his arms. I never feel unloved. So though he may not bring me home flowers, he does my dishes and vacuums the floors; he makes keeping the house as clean as I like it to be a priority because he knows it is important to me.

I love knowing him intimately. And because I do, I can see the ways he loves me clearly without the flowers and chocolates.

Daniel loves me with his whole heart… could I really ask for anything more?

Crazy?

December 30, 2007 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 6 Comments

Daniel pointed out a sign today at the health food store that boasted:

” Has a delicious nutty flavor” and said:

” Hey Honey! They’re talking about you. You’re a little nutty!”

So, yeah, I am a little nutty and here’s why- I actually look forward to going to bed with my newborn, knowing that she’s going to wake me up in approximately two hours, three if I am lucky, to nurse. And I can’t wait! We leave the closet light on so I can barely see… and what I see are beautiful eyes looking up into my face with a little tongue that is going a million miles a minute in anticipation. I love snuggling her body close to mine feeling her relax, listening to sweet happy baby sounds.

So call me nutty, call me crazy but I love the night. Sure, I am tired every day but these moments with my tiny baby girl are so fleeting.

Reflections

December 29, 2007 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 20 Comments

Wow! What a wild six days it has been.

Sunday is when it all started… early Sunday morning. I woke up at about 4:30 a.m. for good, although I had been having contractions all night long. I was hungry, really hungry so I wandered out to the kitchen for some toast and juice. I distracted myself with little tasks and some blogging until it was time to get ready for church. Nothing spectacular was happening so we went to church and I tried to ignore my body for the rest of the afternoon. It kind of worked but by evening I was really uncomfortable. We called my midwife and she arrived about 10 p.m. We had set the birthing pool up and things were ready to go, all except me. My body basically called it quits. Kristen, my midwife, decided to go back home so she could get some sleep. She lives nearly two hours away so it was a tough decision but it was the right one. And I needed to go about my nightly routine and get some sleep as well. I was exhausted.

At about 1:30 I woke up with a killer contraction and knew this was it. “Go big or go home” is my motto and I was already home, so I had to go big. I labored and tried to sleep for a couple of hours but then it just became too much. We called Kristen and her midwife in training, Kristi, to come over. I wandered around the house; I tried to eat, tried to drink, I had my mom braid my hair but finally gave up trying to work through the pain and got in the birthing pool.

I was in a ton of pain by this point but amazingly enough I was able to manage it much better than I had thought I would. The water felt so good and I was able to relax in between contractions. Daniel held my hands through every one and I felt secure in him. Tarrah came over and it was nice to “chat” and have a good friend beside me. She made sure my eyebrows never got askew – a serious pet peeve of mine. Really, I’m quite vain.

Kristi arrived around 5 a.m. and checked me – I was nearly ready to push. I was having a hard time believing that this was really happening for some reason. I remember asking Daniel a ton of times if I was really going to have the baby that day. He probably thought “You are crazy, woman!” Kristin arrived about an forty-five minutes later and checked me again – I still had a tiny bit to go but my body was already pushing.

Finally, finally it was really time to push. I had prayed and prayed over this part. Pushing is truly hard for me. I have had long pushing sessions with both Eve and Judah and I desperately wanted this time to be different. But, it was not to be. Apparently, I have a narrow pelvis and my babies require a lot of work to be born. A lot. I honestly didn’t think I was going to be able to do it. I was completely and totally exhausted. I had nothing left to draw from.
Close to the end, my contractions spaced out a bit and I was able to sleep for a minute or two in between each pushing. My mom also made up a honey and water drink- which was totally disgusting- but between the little cat naps, the drink, and a lot of prayers I made it through.

Two and a half hours of hard pushing did me in, but when I saw Eliza’s face I couldn’t remember any of it. Now, when Kristen had me stand up to get out of the birthing tub all the exhaustion came rushing back. But for those couple of minutes when I first laid my eyes on beautiful Eliza all I felt was joy. Pure joy. I remember Daniel looking in my eyes, his eyes reflecting the wonder I felt, and then giving me a kiss. Two people who love each other so deeply and with that love bringing a child in this world… it is an amazing moment. Nothing compares to it. Absolutely nothing.

Just as Eve and Judah are, Eliza is my joy. There is something about a newly born baby – so fresh from Heaven – that thrills my heart in an indescribable way. I look at her and sometimes can’t believe that she is here, in my arms. I watch her move and my body knows all of it – I remember feeling those movements in my womb. I love to stare in her eyes and remember all the places and things we did together while I was pregnant, but now with the knowledge of who I was doing them with. I love to see how God made her – all the little things that make up Eliza. I spent so long wondering and imagining what she was going to look like, longing to know what she was going to feel like in my arms.
I am so thrilled she is here. I am so grateful for her life. Now, I pray for the wisdom I need to mother her.

Eve and Eliza

December 28, 2007 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 9 Comments

Eve had asked Daniel and me awhile ago if she could watch the baby being born. I wasn’t exactly for it since I felt it might be a bit stressful for her, but Daniel thought she’d do fine. We talked it over and agreed that Eve could be with us for the part where the baby was about to be birthed, as long as someone was with her and able to take her from the room if it became too much.
Those last few minutes before Eliza were born were really intense for me, but I do remember a couple of specifics – the new morning sun shining in my face making me feel as if I really could birth this baby, and I remember seeing Eve’s face.

I am thankful she was able to witness her sister’s birth, I am thankful I could see her face when she realized that we had a girl, and I am thankful that I will always have the memory of her being with me and Daniel.

Distracted

December 27, 2007 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 14 Comments

I know, not posting for days is so unlike me. But, if you had an Eliza to wake up to each morning you would understand. She is amazing; so delicate and fine. She has the sweetest raspy little voice I have ever heard and her dimples completely melt my heart.
She is true a miracle – a miracle I worked really hard to get into my arms. It is amazing how quickly I have let the remembrance of labor go this time. Don’t get me wrong… I can recall it all perfectly, but it doesn’t matter anymore. When I look at her I don’t remember the pain and exhaustion, I just see my gorgeous baby girl.

Today, my early morning hours were spent looking into beautiful dark murky newborn eyes that stared back into mine; little smiles were given, whispered words of love and adoration spoken into delicate ears, tiny kisses sprinkled on unimaginably soft, lavender scented skin and then I watched my sweet Eliza drift to sleep curled in my arms.

She is my distraction; you’ll have to forgive me.

Welcome to the World….

December 24, 2007 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 61 Comments

sweet Eliza Dove

Our beautiful baby girl was born at 8:34 this morning. Andrea worked hard and was absolutely amazing!! Everything went extremely well, thanks to all for your prayers, we felt them. Our daughter is beautiful and adorable and perfect.

She was 7 lbs. 8 oz. and 20 1/2 inches long

Glowing Mama and her baby girl!

Hmmmm…

December 23, 2007 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 28 Comments

***I’m guessing by tonight or maybe tomorrow morning we’ll have our baby, unless something crazy happens. Daniel will keep you updated as much as he can. C’mon Baby!

Just wondering if this is “the day”.

We will see.

Perspective

December 21, 2007 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 11 Comments

I had another prenatal visit yesterday morning… You know, I am so over them. They aren’t even exciting anymore, just simply a reminder that I haven’t had the baby yet. During the visit I received some highly disturbing information. Apparently my belly has gone from measuring in at thirty-six centimeters to thirty-eight centimeters in one week! One week! I almost croaked. I am so thankful I have zero propensity for stretch marks because otherwise…..

Our baby is doing good, and according to the information above it has no qualms about growing. Me… I’m uncomfortable. I can’t bend over anymore, my knees hit my belly when I walk up the stairs from doing laundry, turning over in bed unassisted-Ha!, on and on it goes. But, this is all typical end of pregnancy stuff and it’s okay. I could have complications like high blood pressure, pre-eclampsia, or gestational diabetes. But I don’t. I have a perfectly healthy pregnancy; all I have to deal with is the typical aches and pains. So, I am thankful for each day this baby grows in my womb, I enjoy each night I sleep for hours on end, and I enjoy being able to run an errand or two without having to think about a nursing schedule. Those changes will be here soon enough. When they are, I will be thankful that I can bend over with ease, and take the steps two at a time, that I can sleep on my stomach, and hug my kids tight.

Really, it’s all just perspective.

Evie Coffee

December 20, 2007 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 16 Comments

It’s the favorite part of the day for the kids…. when Daddy makes “Evie coffee”. It’s a splash of coffee, a bit of honey, and a whole lot of milk, made with Daddy’s love. And it’s consumed in 4.2 seconds, precisely, by Judah – who takes after me. Eve sips little sips. She takes her time just like her Daddy.
We love coffee here at our house and apparently, that love starts early.

Baby Names

December 19, 2007 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 39 Comments

** Wow! I can’t even tell you how much fun Daniel and I have had going over the names you all suggested! I love it! You gave us some really great ones to mull over…. I feel such great responsibility with the naming of our child, but it’s also so much fun and you gave us some names I never would have thought of! Thanks to all who gave us suggestions! I love that some of you are name fanatics like me!

Daniel looked at me Monday night and said:

” We just get worse at this with every child, don’t we.”

A name. We need a name…. this child needs a name or at least options. Poor Judah didn’t have a name for two days. We called him….wait for it… “Baby.” Original don’t you think?

I have no desire to repeat that scenario with this child. I am a namer – I’ve named everything. Our cars, our Thanksgiving turkey, our computer, on and on ….Eve named our house, so apparently I’ve handed that trait down. It goes against my grain to not have a name, especially for my child.

With Eve and Judah we went with biblical names, but this time I have been craving the classic, rarely used, but not weird names. I adore the name “Vivian” and I really thought Daniel was good with that, but he told me Monday he just can’t do it. So, that’s out. We both really like the name “Eleanor”. Daniel is mulling that one over he said. That at least shows some promise. “Eleanor” was my great-grandmothers name and I know it sounds archaic, but the more I let my mind think about it the more I really like it.
My favorite name is “Eliza” but it’s not going real far with Daniel. I can just see a little girl with curls like me, a little turned up nose like Eve’s, and big blue eyes bouncing around our house. The problem is that I would have to give the middle name “Jane” which I don’t really love. It would just be wrong to go and have a “Liza” without the “Jane.” (Thanks a lot Vince Gill! But, it’s okay I still love you…)
I also adore the name “Violet.” I tried for that one when I was pregnant with Judah, but no dice. And then Jennifer Garner went and named her daughter that. Judah was suppose to be “Moses” but Wow! was he just not a Moses. Gwyenth Paltrow went and used that one. I don’t understand why these people don’t clear their children’s names through me first! I mean, C’mon!

I know growing up I had a looong list of names for my future children. I just can’t find that list anymore…. I think my mom stole it so she’d never have to hear any of those names being used for her grandchildren.

Will you help us get the creative juices flowing? We like names that are considered fairly normal, not hard to spell, not modern, and easy to say. Oh, and boy names are good too but I’m pretty sure we have one nailed down.

Besides, I will be shocked if this baby is a boy…. but that would be nothing new, right Mom?

The "Big" Stud

December 18, 2007 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 21 Comments

So, I might have had a minor nervous breakdown Sunday night. Might have.

Okay, I definitely did.

It all started from the hamburger I used for dinner – it tasted really funny. And after just having food poisoning I kind of flipped out a bit. I ended up sobbing on the bed, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Not that I am ever dramatic or anything.

So there I am with my hyperventilating sobs while Daniel tries to comfort me. Then I heard the words:

“Clearing schedule… take leave… I’ll be home to help.”

Whoa! People, this is a minor miracle! Daniel has sixty-six days of vacation time right now because it is so hard to actually take time off in this job. Starting tomorrow I get to have my husband home with me for at least a week, and depending on when this this child in my womb decides to show it’s face, perhaps more. I am thrilled!

My hyperventilating eventually stopped and I made another dinner for my family. My heart felt a little less in turmoil, and the list in my head of things to get done seemed much more manageable. Thank God for a good husband.

Perhaps I should pull out the tears more often…

Just kidding!

My Chimes

December 17, 2007 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 7 Comments

I know, I know. I’m writing about chimes…boring. But, with me it’s the little things. Always has been, always will be.

I bought and hung these chimes not long after we moved into this little home. I bought them specifically for their sound yet also because the red wood at the bottom was weather-proof. If only my heart could have been just as weather-proofed. I haven’t touched them in years, but today as I was about to take their picture I noticed a black spot. My fingers gently brushed it away. There can be no black spot on my beloved chimes.

The song these hollow metal rods sing is beautiful to my ears. Not too high, not too low. Just perfect. They have sung to me these long three, almost four years. They have sung whether I was happy or sad, in the good times or in the bad times; the song never changed. Though it does increase in intensity with the wind of Fall and Winter, and becomes gentle and quiet in the breezes of Summer, wavers between gentle and wild in Spring, the song is always the same. How I wish I could always have had my song stay the same these last hard years. Always believing that God knew what I needed, what was best, that He loved me, that He was always close. But, my song changed with the wind. How I wished I could have been beautiful and unchangeable, letting the winds of change toss me around but having my song – my beliefs never be moved.

When it comes time to leave our little house this Spring I will gently pack my chimes away, making sure to hang them at our new home the soonest moment I can. I only hope I will have learned a good lesson from my chimes. That I will hear the gentle reminder they sing to me from my porch…. ” Always believe that God is for you, Andrea. Let the winds of change toss you where they will, but always keep your heart the same. He is a good God”

Naptime

December 17, 2007 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 18 Comments

Nap time around our house is sacred. I don’t skip those two quiet hours as a general rule. Though I still can’t quite figure out who needs it more – me or the kids – I’m thinking it is me. Judah totally passes out each time; Eve on the other hand still naps once in awhile, but more often than not though she just quietly plays in her room.
I know many mothers use naptime to catch up on housework, make dinner, etc. but not this mother. Nap time is Andrea time. I am completely selfish for two hours. I eat my lunch, read, blog, sleep. Basically anything I want to do. Sometimes I just need to flop on the couch and sit there for a little while.
For me, the most enjoyable part of nap time is the quiet. I thrive on quiet. I am not an extrovert in any sense of the word. Being around people, while I thoroughly enjoy it, exhausts me – Daniel and Eve on the other hand – it energizes them. So naptime is my time to recharge, to regroup and pull myself together for the second half of my day with the kids.
And I think it is really important for the kids as well. We all need a break from each other. Eve needs some quiet time to use her imagination, to play with the toys Judah has tried to jack from her all day long, to color – create. Judah on the other hand simply needs sleep. Otherwise, he’s a bear. And not a teddy bear either – he’s a growling, angry, tired bear. No fun at all.

How do you deal with nap time at your house? I read a blog awhile ago that said she also does a quiet hour in the middle of her morning. She gates the kids in their rooms and takes that hour to do housework alone. This is in addition to nap time. Interesting…

My curious mind inquires about you….

Saturday

December 16, 2007 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 12 Comments

Look! I’m a red head again… Daniel is my hero colorist.

Sigh…. I wish I had more exciting news for you about yesterday, but I don’t. We just had a busy day. Daniel colored my hair, and then Eve had her first haircut. It nearly killed me and Daniel. Snipping away her sweet blond baby hair was really, really hard for me. I took off about three inches because I couldn’t handle any more. I totally appreciated all your suggestions and seriously thought about each different one. Eve requested that we not cut it short, and Daniel gave me sad puppy dog eyes when I talked about even trimming it, so you can see the decision to simply trim was already made for me.

Before the trim

After the trim

Then we, like the crazy people we are, went shopping at Costco. I knew our area was expected to get a big storm today and I wanted to make sure our water supply was stocked up. But, seriously, who can leave Costco with just water? Apparently not me. The kids had fun looking at all the “Frosty” and charmed nearly every passerby. We always have a blast at Costco – I’m positive they put something in the air system there.

Later in the evening, after I had successfully ruined a batch of homemade eggnog (which is totally gross if you’ve never done that before!), we went to a live nativity with the kids and some friends. It was like ten degrees out! It was SO cold, but fun. Afterwards we went back to Sam and Tarrah’s house for Christmas cookies, hummus and veggies, pound cake with raspberries and whipped cream, successfully not ruined spiked eggnog, and some great company .

So, you can see we had a busy day. I have had a lot of regular Braxton Hicks the last three days but so far they haven’t turned into anything serious. And hopefully I won’t go into labor today since we are getting inundated with snow. I’m not so sure my midwife could even get here because of the storm. That would be classic, wouldn’t it. Even though I believe Daniel could handle the birth, I would be totally freaked out! It sure would make for a good story though. I just hope it doesn’t end up that way. I’m so not into that whole unassisted birth thing!

Although you can’t tell here, Daniel is super thrilled because the snowplow just went by and buried the driveway the exact moment he had finished clearing it. Timing is everything.

The Belly

December 14, 2007 | Filed Under Uncategorized | 25 Comments

My midwife, Kristen, came yesterday morning for a prenatal appointment. Hard to believe we are having an appointment every week now. I love that we sit on my couch and talk. No time limit, no pressure, no travel. I feel like Kristen can really pay attention to the baby and to my needs. I can talk to her about everything I am feeling- my fears, my excitement, my stupid questions are never stupid. It is so amazing to have everything from the very beginning of the baby’s life to the actual birth happen at home. And I am thankful that we are able to have it this way.
Daniel stayed home for the appointment and was able to hear the heartbeat. I love that. For some reason, with all of our babies, I can never hear the heartbeat. I’ve tried over and over, but no dice. But, since I am the one who gets to feel the movement of our baby, I think I have it best.

I measured in at 36 weeks which freaked me out! Kristen said that the baby has dropped and it is normal to measure smaller. Phew! I am so over 36 weeks! I do believe I am perfecting “the waddle” in which case her dropping prognosis is right on. The baby felt great to her and is good to go. Hint, hint baby…

We talked about what we are doing with the kids when I am in labor, about the birthing supplies, about labor itself, the size of the baby…. I can’t believe it is almost here. Truly, this weekend would be wonderful. But so unlikely. I usually go full term; I am good with that because it is good for the baby. Before Christmas would be lovely though. Time will tell…

Bet you all are getting sick of hearing about the baby!