A new (old) leaf.
August 22, 2010 | Filed Under Life Stuff | 13 Comments
Or more so, returning to my roots.
And I’m not talking about my natural state of brown hair. Heaven ought to know by now that I was meant to be a red head!
Yesterday I came here to my blog and read through the entire year’s worth of posts for 2007. Afterward, I went back even further and read into 2006. In doing so, I remembered something… I started this blog for me.
*Slaps head*
Somewhere along the way I forgot that. I could kick myself for all of the time I have let slip away unnoticed, unremembered, undocumented. And here’s the real kicker, I can’t recall anything that happened; the pieces of life that languished inbetween blog posts are gone forever.
True story: I have a terrifically terrible memory.
Reading through the blog yesterday was a trip down memory lane; reliving all of the memories that I didn’t even remember I had. I was so happy! And then I was so sad because I had let so much time go by in the last two years.
My new leaf is this: More posts and pictures about my life so that they don’t slip away. I want to remember.
This may completely bore some of you and you’ll leave. That’s ok. I’m here for me. I’m also here for my children who will read this blog years down the road. Because Lord knows, if they ask me to recall something… it’s just not going to happen unless I’ve written it down.
Those of you who want to stick around and tromp through my life with me… Hooray! (Or as Eliza says, “Ooray!”) I can tell you that these next few years are going to be a wild and woolly ride.
Another true story: I’m scared.
I’ve had this blog for nearly four years now; I can tell you that sitting and being able to write and post photos has been one of the best choices I have ever made. Not only have I documented this wonderful life I get to live but I’ve made some friendships that I can not put a value on.
This is a prelude to numerous posts full of photos and memories that I am going to write during these next couple of days. You know, before I forget everything that has happened lately. Reader beware!
Happy day to you…
P.S. I’m going to be back dating so that I can remember things when they actually took place 
Who am I?
July 30, 2010 | Filed Under Andrea, Life Stuff | 31 Comments
I was asked a question today that I was wholly unprepared to answer.
Before this morning I was pleased as pudding with my life. Right now I am pleased as pudding with my life.
For a few hours in-between this morning and this moment, I had a frenetic “Who the heck am I” session. It wasn’t pretty. And there certainly wasn’t any pudding involved.
“Mrs. Hubbard, I need a list of your accomplishments.”
That was the question from a very nice gentleman at the marketing office on base. How was he suppose to know that he just sent my head spinning and knocked my world a few degrees off kilter?
I didn’t have an answer for him. I sputtered and stuttered and came up with, “Um, I have three kids and I’m a wife and….” My voice just kind of trailed off because well, there was nothing else to say.
I felt like I needed more. More, something, anything.
After our conversation ended and I hung up the phone, I wandered about the house for a few minutes with a frog in my throat and tears threatening to spill over. I felt inadequate, unfulfilled, and like I’d come up short next to a make-believe ruler.
I barked at my kids to give Mama some peace and sent them outside. I let the thoughts in my head twirl about like a whirlwind… How did I not know that I was inadequate before now? I had never felt like I was. I’m happy and busy and doing what I love.
Yet, to the world’s standards, being a faithful wife and a loving mother and a loyal friend doesn’t spell accomplished. I felt all of that judgment in those brief moments on the phone. The man on the other end didn’t say it, didn’t imply it, but I knew it was true.
I am a failure in the world’s eyes.
But the truth came rushing back into my heart via my wonderful facebook friends. Isn’t it amazing to have a community to rally around a hurting heart? I could never have called each of them and poured my heart out but through a couple lines in my little status bar, encouragement and love rose up like a tidal wave.
I am accomplished. Being a wife, being a mother, being me is enough.
I am enough.
You are enough.
My amazing friend Crystal helped me write a little paragraph about who I am and I sent it off in an email to the marketing office. And I’m happy because I know who I am.
I’m a devoted wife. I’m a loving and slightly crazy mother. I’m a loyal friend. I’m a woman who is passionate about life. And I wear sparkly pink high heels. Because I like them and they are “me” and all of that… is more than enough.
Why can’t my friends pop in when my house is clean?
July 12, 2010 | Filed Under Life Stuff | 48 Comments
This question has been rolling around in my head the last few days.
The answer came to me today. It is this: A miracle would have taken place for that to happen.
While I do believe in miracles that was obviously not the answer I was hoping for.
It seems that whenever someone pops in, my house looks like a tornado came screaming down from Kansas, ripped through Oklahoma, picked up speed and then settled right over my house.
Well, hello! Come on in to the latest national disaster area! Make yourself comfy!
I wish I could say that I am an awesome housekeeper. I wish that my friends who came over for a visit and saw by miracle a clean house, wouldn’t automatically know it was a fluke.
But, it would be. I’m not the world’s greatest housekeeper. And I have three uh, tornadoes. Fine, they’re children but they sure act like tornadoes.
Those three small kids/tornadoes follow me as I clean, making everything decidedly un-clean. Why must they insist on behaving in this manner?
My friend came over the other evening to drop off some cheese she had picked up for me at the commissary. Of course there had been a cheerio bombing earlier in the day and no one had cleaned it up yet. Nice. And of course it had been a couple of days since I had vacuumed any other part of the house. Double nice. And then she went upstairs where the schoolroom looked like a paper shredder threw up, compliments of Eve and her handy-dandy scissors. Triple nice. And, to top it all off, I hadn’t put away the bag of clean clothes from our Albuquerque visit, it was sitting in the hallway waving at her.
Need I go on? Or do you get the picture? Because believe me, I could keep on going if you needed me to.
I love being organized. I love having everything clean. But if I lived like that, nothing else would get done. No heads would be kissed; no one would learn anything because I’d be too busy scrubbing toilets to teach them; there would be no laughing because mama would always be yelling “DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT TOUCHING THAT!” Life would be very unpleasant.
I am imperfect. I don’t have a clean house. I covet other people’s clean houses. I don’t always make my kids pick up after themselves. I don’t always pick up after myself.
If you came over right now you’d trip over my sandals that are sitting right in front of the door.
See, told ya.
I do almost always make my bed, though. Do I earn any points for that?
Tell me I’m not alone in this. Please?
Lotsa love from the girl with three baskets of unfolded clean laundry hiding in her closet.
I have pudgy thighs.
July 1, 2010 | Filed Under Life Stuff | 35 Comments
I’m almost 30. Just a few more months, four to be exact. When I was in my mid to late twenties I was scared of turning thirty. I banned Daniel from even talking about it. When I turned twenty-nine something changed; I knew thirty was coming whether I banned the mention of it, whether I hated it, whether I was angry about it. So, I accepted the change, embraced the aging. “Bring it on” has been my mantra.
I’ve noticed something about myself in this last year, I’ve changed. Not one radical change, rather lots of smaller changes. I don’t know if all of these changes happened only because I’m getting older; I feel like this last deployment had plenty to do with changing me. I had neither the time or the energy to continue living the way I had been.
Getting older, deployments… Mostly this feels like a good thing to me.
I wear my bathing suit at the pool without a cover-up. I do not have a perfect body and pre-twenty-nine-staring-down-thirty I was scared of being judged for that. Now, I’m enjoying my kids and the sun. Either people can choose not to look at my pudgy thighs and my not-flat stomach or they can be okay with it all, because I am.
I require my kids to be respectful and polite and not “act like kids” in private and in public. It’s amazing to me how many people say “Oh, it’s ok. They’re just being a kid” when children act up and are disrespectful. For me and my kids… it’s not acceptable and since I am responsible to God for raising my children to be productive, responsible, respectful, and integrity-filled members of society, I will not back down on my standards.
I really don’t care if “you” like me. Truly. I’m not going to change me so you can be okay with who I am. It’s just not going to happen.
I keep my mouth shut a lot more than I use to. (Insert Daniel breathing a sigh of relief.) Everyone always knew how Andrea felt about everything. Getting my opinion across on every little thing isn’t that important to me anymore. I’m learning, sometimes painfully, that I don’t know what the crap I’m talking about. Keeping quiet has been amazingly eye-opening.
It’s fascinating to me how we change as we grow older. I’ve looked at my mom and my grandma and their friends and watched as they live. And sometimes, I have to admit, I was shocked! Wondering at some of what they did or didn’t do. And now, I am seeing the wisdom in much of it. Plenty of it still seems kind of weird to me… I guess, give me another ten years?
What I am trying to say is, getting older isn’t such a bad thing anymore. I’m not afraid of it. Actually, I’m rather enjoying the freedom that it is bringing to my life.
To you who have been where I am and beyond: what is your experience?
To the younger ones: are you afraid of getting older?
P.S. I need your help! Please vote for me over at “My Air Force Life” I’m trying to get my photo to the Pentagon to represent what Air Force life looks like. Today I am on page 14 and my photo is # 673. No registering or info required! You can vote every day through the 4th of July. Feel free to pass the word along too! Thank you!!
Rain=Love (and mosquitoes)
June 28, 2010 | Filed Under Eliza Dove, Life Stuff, Love is..., New Mexico, Photos | 8 Comments
I’m such an old lady. One of the things I love to do in the evening is sit on a chair in the front of my garage (this is only because I have a psuedo front porch) and watch the world go by.
I love it best when there’s a rainstorm. Watching the rain fall is calming to me and let me tell you, I need all the calming moments I can get. My life is nuts.
Last night we had one of those moments… a quiet rain, chairs in the garage, the kids were chill… it was nice.
I love that ‘Ol Glory still flies proud even in a drenching rain. Nothing can hold her down.
And when it was all over, we saw the world through rose colored glasses.
The sky was pink, the clouds were pink, I would swear that even the air was pink. The Southwest has kind of stolen my heart.
Our ordinary day – in photos.
April 17, 2010 | Filed Under Eliza Dove, Eve, Homeschool, Judah, Life Stuff, New Mexico, Photos | 10 Comments
Now that I am sitting here thinking over the day, there are so many more photos I should have, could have taken.
Like school, for instance. A big part of our day is devoted to learning. Yet, no photo. (slaps head.)
Or the massive amounts of rollerblading that takes place in my house every.single.day. Nobody wants to simply walk. They must rollerblade. Everywhere.
Or the french bread that I wanted to give you the recipe for.
Or the tantrums. None caught on “film.” You can thank me for that.
Regardless of all that I forgot, I relish this ordinary day’s moments. I know that I’ll really enjoy looking back on these photos someday.
Our pseudo-snow. We have (had) a gorgeous pink flowered tree in our front yard. The tree’s beautiful blooms have made me smile everyday, watching as they toss their gorgeous heads around in the sun. But the wind has been so cruel. And now we have a blanket of petals. Which, in reality, is beautiful in it’s own mournful way.
A combination of: flowers from Daniel, Gerbera Daisies, and free-flowered queenly Irises. There is something so spectacular about pairing red and purple. Looking at these flowers together made me think about my wedding. But that’s a topic for another day.
Dinner prep starts early around here. It must, otherwise my day is gone and dinner is non-existent. And quite frankly, there are five tummies who will loudly protest that ever happening.
Honestly, someone should teach that girl how to sweep up the dirt properly! Oh, I guess that would be me. I’m just thankful I have a girl old enough to sweep up after each meal. And that she does it cheerfully!
I’ve never eaten purple (black?) grapes before today. But I’ll be eating them for the rest of my life. Crispy and sweet. A perfect change from my typical red grape in the Barbecue Chicken salad.
Girlfriend asked for the beater before anyone else. So, she got it. And she relished it. I can’t really believe that I am the one handing out the beaters. Seems like it was just the other day I was licking the beater. (Well, what my stingy mom left on there. It’s the truth, isn’t it, Mom?!)
My friend Sarah texted me the other day and said she was making a Strawberry Cream Pie and thanked me for posting the recipe. From then on, I couldn’t stop thinking about the creamy deliciousness. So, I made one today. (p.s. Use a deep pie dish and double the cream filling. It gives you more than you need but it will fill up your pie better than a single batch. And, it’s awesome.)
I tried teaching Eliza to use the potty on her own without me having to ask her if she had to go. Failed. She’s not ready for that step. Or tall enough to reach the toilet, even with a stool. And since she started to straight up refuse to go pee at.all. I resorted to bribery. It’s working beautifully.
Our crazy weather has given us rain on and off for the last couple of days. Subsequently, there has been a hint of humidity in the air which gives my girl some soft curls. I can’t stop touching her hair when it’s like that. It feels like silk.
I love the way Judah looks when he has just woken up from his afternoon nap. April has been a tough month for my boy. And in turn, me. But, things are beginning to come around. He started school this week and he loves it. Math-U-See primer, Explode the Code for learning to read, a neat language arts program, Handwriting without Tears for learning to write, a very interesting science book… and you know, life, which is truly the best teacher.
Almost seven. And asking me to take her photo. Where does the time go? Wasn’t I just giving life to this child? She is a dream daughter. And I am exceptionally thankful for her.
That is my day. Or at least a few glimpses of it. I rather love ordinary life.
In which I made sweet love to Lysol for 10 days straight.
March 5, 2010 | Filed Under Eliza Dove, Life Stuff, New Mexico, Photos | 10 Comments
Miss Eliza Dove has been sick since last Thursday. As in, nothing stayed in her stomach. She never got a fever, never acted lethargic or irritable. Her poor stomach would just randomly dispose of everything she ate. And not in convenient places either. (Like my hair. gag.)
{I do have to stop here and give her some major points. Eliza maintained being potty trained throughout the entire ordeal. And if girlfriend can handle telling me when she has to go to the bathroom whilst her intestines are hatin’… I’m thinking that we are golden on the diaper-free front.}
Judah had been sick a couple of days before Eliza. But he was sick for one evening and then was done with it. Eve never got it. I was sick for three days. Daniel was queasy for one evening. Weird, huh. Weird and very exhausting.
I am usually envious of large families. Until my family is sick. And then I realize sickness traveling through five people is way more than enough for me. I’m not sure that my washing machine could have handled much more. And I know that I was beyond my breaking point. It wasn’t as if I could have laid on my bed all day like I certainly longed to do while I was sick. Nope, mama had to be mama and carry on. That’s life.
Thankfully, today everyone felt back to normal. And it was a gloriously beautiful day… outside too! The kids and I ventured out of the house to visited one of our favorite playgrounds. We had a wonderful time in the fresh, soft, warm breezes. I completely relished not being surrounded by walls; I loved feeling the sun warming my body, listening to my kids play (and fight, of course!).
I took some photos of Eliza enjoying her freedom from the house. I could tell that she was just as happy as I was to be outside. She made sure to bring her full personality along…
Do you see the smirk?
We lovingly call her an old lady. She groans and grunts and acts likes she’s 97 years old. Here she gives you her best grumpy old lady face. She’s absolutely fascinating. And completely addictive.
She happily wore her glasses (”eyes” as she calls them) cocked off to the side. No worries. No cares. It didn’t matter that they left a red dent on her face before Mama realized and fixed ‘em. She’s totally chill.
And she looks great in polka dots.
Hope your day was great and your house is germ-free!!
Facial cream/moisturizer suggestion?
February 17, 2010 | Filed Under Life Stuff | 35 Comments
Ok, I’m officially crawling out of my skin here.
Such a pretty word picture, isn’t it?
I live in the d.e.s.e.r.t. And my skin hates me right now. I make sure to drink plenty of water, and while that helps, it’s not the end all. My skin needs extra moisturizing. I use a wonderful lotion on my skin from the shoulders down, but my face…. it needs help.
Currently I am using Caudalie on my face. I got it at Sephora. I like that it doesn’t have a strong perfume but I feel like it clogs my pores. And that is no-good.
I wash my skin with Clinque, which sounds really old school, but Daniel and I both love it. First of all, it does a good job. Secondly, it cost like fifteen dollars and it is going to last the two of us probably six more months.
Do you have any suggestions on a facial moisturizer for me? I am feeling a little desperate here…
Thanks ahead of time!!
It’s like a freakin’ clown car, man!
February 9, 2010 | Filed Under Life Stuff | 13 Comments
Sigh…
I want to write. I just don’t have a specific subject to write about, and rattling off without a purpose is a blogging/writing no-no.
But, I’m going to do it anyway… I’m a rebel without a cause. Or something like that.
The kids are doing good; everyone is keeping great spirits even though we have been housebound for couple of weeks now. Between the snow (I KNOW! It’s not normal for here. The town was completely paralyzed for days.) and Daniel taking the truck to work every day, it’s been a challenge for me and the kids. We were use to being on the go-go-go, living in NY, that this new lifestyle has been an adjustment. Not necessarily hard or bad, just a rearranging of my thought process.
School is superb! Eve has been doing well and we are proud of our little first grader. For me, having a dedicated school room is a tremendous blessing. Our time spent schooling each day is much more effective than it was in New York. Eve is learning by leaps and bounds and it is a thrill. Last Thursday we had a pretty tough day (it was all me being tired and grumpy) but my perspective received a face lift after watching a school bus drive by the house during nap time. I realized anew that our days (even the bad ones) are a blessing; we are together – learning, playing, sharing life without interruptions. And I know that having Eve at home and teaching her here is my present calling and even on our worst day I am thankful for homeschooling and all that it brings to my life.
As far as post-deployment goes, it’s been really good. To tell you the truth, I have no idea why we have such an easy time of it. The previous post-deployment was the same thing. There were literally no bumps. I say this not to brag at all. I don’t understand the whys but I am truly thankful for the seamless transition of being apart and now being together. I can tell you that our marriage is a lot different than it was before. Saying “I’m sorry” and extending forgiveness is quicker and easier, we kiss more often, appreciation for each other is much higher… the only thing that we haven’t changed, but that we had discussed while Daniel was deployed, is going on more dates. And that is because we have a babysitter lack. But, I’m working on it!
One last big thing before I hit you with all the small piddley stuff…
One word: Nikon.
Yup. I’m switching from Canon to Nikon. (I’m keeping my Canon, though, once I get her back. ‘Cause I love her deeply.)
I’ve known for a solid year and a half that I wanted to buy a full frame Nikon but it just didn’t make a whole lot of sense financially. I mean, I had a beautiful Canon camera (40D) and great lenses (18-55mm 2.8, 50mm 1.4, 85mm 1.8), why would I do such a dramatic switch? All I can say is, I like Nikon better. I have researched the crap out of both brands and I made my decision. Sometimes I feel nervous and wonder if I am doing the right thing but as a life-long overthinker, it’s typical to have that reaction. I’m going to love my new camera and lenses. We are going to have a beautiful time together. Period.
Now, for the piddley but still matters stuff:
*Daniel’s motorcycle is literally in pieces in the garage. He bought a new muffler and is switching the paint job from bumblebee yellow to sleek and sexy black. Hence, I am truckless.
*Our garage is about to become Crossfit central. So excited for all our equipment to arrive and the blood, sweat, and tears that are sure to quickly follow.
*Still no pictures on the wall. This week they will come.
*Saturday is Eve’s Valentine’s Day tea party. We (I) couldn’t do our 2nd annual Christmas Tea in December so Valentine’s Day it will be. Still working on psyching myself up. It will be FUN. LOTS O’ FUN, right?
*Eliza is still chubby. Oh wait, that’s not a news flash.
And to answer a few questions:
A bunch of you asked about agave syrup… agave syrup is indeed sweeter than sugar. By 1/4 or 1/3 or something. I should look it up because I don’t remember. I use it in all baking – cookies, cakes, ice cream, custard. I use it in tea, coffee, smoothies… everything. I can taste a slight difference but I’m kind of ultra sensitive to taste differences. I use the “raw” agave syrup. It’s darker in color and less processed. I don’t use it exclusively. I still use raw sugar and honey a lot. I just like having an alternative for when I want to give my kids an extra special treat. I feel like it tones down the high and crash of sugary foods.
I am buying a sewing machine. I am. It’s going to have to be online because I live in the middle of the desert, man. Pinto beans we have, sewing machines, we have not. You all gave me the BEST advice and motivation and encouragement and links. I can’t thank you enough. I’ll be asking more questions once I have my machine. Prepare yourself.
And now… a few links to cute, informative, fun new blogs I have found recently:
These hamburger buns and I have a date in my kitchen. I won’t be using King Arthur flour, though. I have tried it many times because I keep thinking it’s a fluke, but to me it tastes rancid.
Kate doesn’t know me. I’ve commented on her cute and fun blog a few times. She and her Air Force husband live in Japan (their base is at the tip top of our dream sheet)… stop by and say hi for me! She’s got a great linky side bar too…
I will be making these “deliciously dandy ding-dongs.” I promise.
I check these two fashion sites every day. The first one is “Uber-Chic for Cheap” and “Stuff Under Twenty.” I love finding a deal. Bet you do too.
I need one of these dresses. Any one will do. I will never have one, though. Too expensive for me. What I love best is that she donates to awesome charities.
And the last one… wouldn’t this fabric be super cute as curtains in my kitchen? I think so!
I’d love to link to more cute, fun, informative blogs. Email me and let me know if you have one or know of one!
Well. Apparently I had a lot to say. You are officially all caught up now.
Bye!
Oh, yes I did.
February 6, 2010 | Filed Under Life Stuff, Perspective, Photos | 18 Comments
And you thought I was crazy when I was feeding my family dessert for dinner…
I’ve reached new heights of the crazy.
We had dessert for breakfast.
For a few days time I had promised the kids I would make them the ice cream of their dreams. The kind that makes them drool when the memory comes flooding back in twenty-five years.
(It was a bucket of homemade peach ice cream on a hot heavy-aired New York night for me…)
Anyway, as I was whipping up this future drool worthy memory, I had a moment of brilliance and added in a couple of teaspoons instant coffee. Because I wanted coffee ice cream. But wait! Who in their right mind feeds their children coffee ice cream right before bed? Not this chickie.
I think children sleeping at night is a good thing. You?
Well, I had also promised Eve I would make her oatmeal raisin cookies for dessert. I even remembered to buy the raisins at the Commissary. Miracles still happen!
But then I forgot to make the cookies.
Can’t win ‘em all, I guess.
I don’t know about you, but to me it’s obvious, once you add all of these variables together, I had to feed my children dessert for breakfast.
I know some of you are cringing at the thought that there were no eggs on our breakfast table. No whole wheat toast. Where’s the fruit? The milk? The cereal?
Oh, but they were all there.
Eight eggs in the ice cream. Fresh store bought whole wheat flour in the cookies. Yummy, plump raisins studded the cookies. Great for growing bodies, coconut milk mixed with sinfully delicious heavy cream. Heavy rolled oats embodied the cookies.
As for the gobs of sugar usually in these desserts … it was agave syrup, my friends. I made the creamiest, most delicious coffee ice cream using agave syrup. Used it for the cookies too. Who knew! Not my kids.
They just thought I was the dreamiest, most beautiful, brilliant mommy that has ever walked the earth. Ice cream and cookies for breakfast? Who does that?
This chickie.
Because I think making memories is better than eating scrambled eggs and whole wheat toast every morning.
Decorating advice needed!
February 1, 2010 | Filed Under Decorating Ineptness, Life Stuff, Military Life, New Mexico, Photos | 16 Comments
I have these big white walls. Everywhere… well, almost everywhere. And they bother me.
On this particular wall I have finally decided to use one of my rainbow prints to adorn it. I think… if you approve, that is.
Daniel finally took pity on me and cut out a piece of 20×30 cardboard… after watching me hold up the tape measure 87,000 times.
Can you see it? Does it work? Do I need to add anything else or is the photo enough?
On the opposite side of the hallway there is a loooong stretch of white wall. I’ve decided to do a series of 16×24 prints of these four vineyard photos I took this fall.
Are you feeling it? Help? I don’t know what the crap I’m doing…
Did I mention…
January 30, 2010 | Filed Under Andrea, Life Stuff, New Mexico, Photos | 17 Comments
That we painted our livingroom wall blue…
‘Cause, we did. And I love it.
Promise I’ll show you more when I’m all done decorating!
And the countdown marches on…
December 17, 2009 | Filed Under Deployment, Life Stuff | 16 Comments
*I think I might cry a little when I have my own house again. I have missed having my own space very much. Apartment living… is not for me.
*I’ve bought the last package of toilet paper ’til we leave. A four pack, for curious minds. This makes me feel slightly giddy.
*I allowed myself to think about sleeping in my own bed, today. Such a lovely, lovely thought.
*Daniel and I are trying to figure out the plane ticket buying. Not such an easy decision since we have nothing firm in the way of dates. But still…. plane tickets…. hooray!
*I have started to go through the stuff we have here at the apartment. Selling some, giving lots away… the process feels quite overwhelming. Life needs to march on… the feeding, clothe-ing, washing, homeschooling, Eliza’s birthday, Christmas… there isn’t a pause button for my duties while I pack.
*Everything we are bringing back to New Mexico has to fit in the 5.5 feet bed of our truck. I’m good but I don’t know if I’m that good.
*No Christmas tree this year. My kids are sad but there’s no point and it would be a waste of money. It’s too bad because I did buy a tree stand at a garage sale for .50 cents. I hate to waste it… ha!
*I’m going to really, REALLY miss Wegmans, Sephora, the big beautiful mall, a great health food store, Craig’s List, knowing that I can drive to just about any store I can dream up in no more than 15 minutes. I like to shop without being inconvenienced and our tiny town in New Mexico has squat. And that is very inconvenient.
*Tomorrow night is our last “Girl’s Night” before I have to move. These ladies have been my life-line. And I am going to miss them very much.
*I have less than a handful of Crossfit workouts left. Tonight I have one and I am taking Eve with me on Saturday. Next week is going to be almost normal but after that…. I don’t know. And not knowing makes me nervous! I have really enjoyed dying Crossfit-ing every other day.
*Not being able to send Daniel his daily letter or any more packages has made me feel sort of useless. But, time is short now. And that makes me happy.
Off to make something for dinner!
Happiness is mine!
Less is not more…
October 29, 2009 | Filed Under Life Stuff | 23 Comments
Sometimes less is not more.
I’ve been working on eating less food. And for this girl, the one who loves food and eating in general, it’s not easy. Or fun. And no, I’m not on a diet, I’m just trying to learn moderation, that’s all.
Last night I was at Wegmans (kid-free, mind you!) picking up a “few” necessities; I, with self-will on over-drive, walked by the fresh bread, (carb-lovers unite!) the pistachios, the cheese… At the health food store, I picked-up and put down the snack sized animal cookies I love so much, I walked by the display of Nana’s cookies, and the bulk section.
I came home and unloaded my groceries, my stomach growling the whole while. I had determined I was going to make a smoothie but time got away from me. And really, all I wanted to do was gnaw on a big hunk of cheese.
I am a late night snacker from way back. I love eating in the evenings. But, everyone in the know says that is bad. Bad, bad, bad. Kill joys.
So, I implemented the “no eating after 7 pm.” rule. And you know, I am a rule follower so there has been no eating after 7 for weeks now. Sigh.
I have noticed a difference in how my jeans fit me. And I feel like I sleep better. I don’t own a scale so I have no idea if there is a pound difference. But, I am happy that I am depriving myself, I mean, exercising self-discipline.
In a week I am starting a kick-boxing/Crossfit workout session at a local Crossfit gym. The session runs for nearly 2 months and will bring me right up to Daniel’s return.
While I exercise because it is good for my body and my mind and blah, blah, blah… really I just want to look better naked. Because in all manners of honesty and vanity, that matters to me.
So here’s to saying no to waffles this morning because I had already eaten a bagel, staring longingly at the pumpkin cake in the fridge after the kids have gone to bed, and looking better naked…
I may have to begrudgingly admit that maybe slightly less is more.
My life right now looks like…
October 11, 2009 | Filed Under Andrea, Deployment, Eliza Dove, Eve, Judah, Life Stuff | 28 Comments
this…
I am so busy my head spins. I am pulled in every direction, so thinly that at times I am certain you can see right through me. Everybody needs a piece of me, right now.
I have lost myself along the way of this deployment. I’ve known this for awhile. But, I can’t care. It’s not about me right now. Life is about the kids, about keeping Daniel’s spirits up, about keeping life moving along.
There are moments, more often than I’d care to acknowledge, even in the vein of this honest post, that I feel I just can not go on. Not another moment. Not another breath. I can’t deal with anymore, anything. And then I do. I do and I do and I do.
Sometimes I cry. I gnash my teeth. I yell. I pout. I stomp my feet at God. I feel that all of this is very unfair.
And then I move on. Because I must.
I am doing pretty good right now. Usually at this point in the month, I would be very funktified and yet, I am not. Even amidst the craziness of life, the kids and I have been having a lot of fun; we are enjoying Fall and enjoying homeschooling. We have had a long string of really good days dotted with some terrific outings. And there are plenty more on the horizon. With five birthdays in the next two months and all of the holidays… none of us can wait!
But keep praying for me, will you? I sure do need it.
More than half way through now…
